“The only shame is pretending you know all the answers.”
— Neil deGrasse Tyson
Once upon a time, long long ago, I was a freshly minted college graduate on the hunt for a job to launch my career. After several months of futility, I began to apply for any job that was remotely connected to my chosen field of television production. This led to an interview for the position of A/V Coordinator at a Community College.
The interview went well…at first. Then I was asked if I had experience with still photography. I did not. Unless using a Kodak Instamatic counted. Which it didn’t.
I replied, “Yes I do.”
In retrospect, I can see that at this point my Thinking Brain had taken a back seat to my Emotional Brain, and Fear was now driving the bus. Rather than admitting the truth and risking losing the job, I opted for a bluff. Which was promptly called by the interviewer’s follow-up technical question.
The details of my answer are lost to history, but I’m pretty sure they could be characterized as ‘stumbling, bumbling nonsense’. At that point, the interview abruptly (and mercifully) ended, and I slinked out the door.
I had fallen victim to a very common human characteristic: the fear of looking ignorant. Somewhere along the line, I had come to believe that not knowing something was a source of embarrassment and shame. I learned that I got rewarded for being right, not for being wrong. For having answers, not for asking questions.
Leaders are not immune from this. As they gain experience and position, the need to appear confident and certain, as well as the belief that others are relying on them to have all the answers, can lead to avoiding admitting ignorance at all costs.
But here’s the flaw in that way of thinking: Ignorance is not the same as Stupidity. Ignorance is simply the lack knowledge or information. Stupidity is the lack of good sense, judgment, or the ability to apply knowledge or information.
Fast forward many years, and I was now sitting in front of a business owner. After a day of interviews with his senior management and key employees, the owner wanted to meet with me. He asked me one question: “Who do you think I’ve chosen as my successor?”
I had no idea. The focus of the interviews was to learn about the company and identify their operational culture, and succession was not remotely on my radar.
Once again, my Emotional Brain tried to gain the upper hand:
- Don’t look stupid! It’s a test of your credibility and value! Say something…anything!
Fortunately, my Thinking Brain was up to the challenge:
- You have no idea, so admit that.
That’s when I uttered the 3 Valuable Words:
“I don’t know.”
We went on to discuss why I didn’t have an answer for his question, and what I had learned during the interviews. At the end of our conversation, he said, “I don’t have time for bullshit. I like it when someone says, ‘I don’t know’ when they don’t.” He subsequently referred me to several other business owners that led to many valuable engagements.
It’s been nearly 20 years since that conversation, but I’ve never forgotten the lesson. Turns out I had unwittingly demonstrated the psychological process of Intellectual Humility: the recognition of the limits of one’s knowledge and an awareness of one’s fallibility.
Leaders who practice Intellectual Humility focus on understanding, not on proving they’re right. They aren’t threatened by what they don’t know, nor are they challenged by new ideas or differing opinions. They respond with curiosity in service of learning and discovering better solutions.
Research has shown Intellectual Humility consistently shows up as one of the strongest predictors of long-term learning and good decision-making, because Leaders who practice Intellectual Humility:
- Try harder to learn from failures and gain new skills.
- Are less likely to fall for false data or rumors because they take time to ask questions and check facts.
- Are seen by others as being more credible, trustworthy, and open to new ideas.
Saying “I don’t know” requires courage. But the payoff can be immense.
Ronn Lehmann advises organizations and leaders on the human factors that determine their culture. Lehmann developed the Cultural Audit Process, which is designed to provide an outside perspective of an organization’s culture: what’s important, what’s rewarded and punished, what the rules are, and how people “show up.”
Success Authorities’ book, “Conversations for Clarity: Critical Questions Leaders Must Ask Themselves” is available now at Amazon!
