Episode 8: The Qualities of Exceptional Leadership

What CEOs Want to Know

What are the standout qualities of great leaders? Success Authority Jayne Sanders discusses the mindset and makeup of those leaders who bring out the best in their teams. She explains what makes an effective leader, especially when navigating through change.

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Transcript:

Linda Ruhland

“How do you lead people through the mind chatter that happens when something disrupts the status quo?”

Jayne Sanders

Well, to answer your question about what’s going on inside, and the depth of it varies by person, of course, there can be a lot of inner turmoil and confusion because it’s change. Most people to some degree fear change because, in the past, change meant death—pretty much, if you go back far enough. People are going to avoid it. They’ll go into denial or just tune it out. They become oblivious to it and when they can’t avoid it anymore, they might go into some kind of resistance, so they push back. Then, maybe they can work their way into accepting it and exploring it, and committing to it. But it really takes effective leadership to get through that, even for the leaders, themselves.

The challenge, I think, is the depth of their self-awareness. The more self-aware somebody is, the more able they are to deal with change and make decisions that are more appropriate, in alignment with their values. It helps people make better decisions that are in alignment with their values, view things from a more neutral stance so they don’t take things personally. They’re not, “Oh my God, this is what’s happening…” It helps them come from a place of confidence. Self-awareness is the core of it. Everything in the workplace now involves emotional intelligence and that includes dealing with change.

Linda Ruhland

Can you give a quick description of emotional intelligence for those people who are not familiar with it or have only heard mention of it? In your own words.

Sanders

It’s your capacity for dealing with things in an emotionally mature way. All aspects of life and work can be impacted by emotional intelligence. That’s the real short version.

Ruhland

How can leaders facilitate or assist their team members with getting a grasp of their situation emotionally? And, in connection with that question, what’s in it for them if they can do it?

Sanders

Leaders that are self-aware, themselves, can be authentic. As a matter of fact, you can’t be authentic if you’re not self-aware because you don’t know what to be authentic to. Authenticity is also wrapped up in vulnerability and honesty, which is what creates a culture of safety and trust. And that kind of environment—safety and trust—is what allows their employees to feel safe, deal with change, and restructure, or however the change is showing up, in a much more positive way. If the leader role models, “Hey, this is scary. We’ve got some stuff going on here, but we can do this. Here’s how we’re going to do it. I’ve done this before, but I haven’t done this. So, I’m going to need your help. What do you think we should do?” Involve them and give them some ownership in the process. It can make a huge difference. The benefit to the leader is more productivity and engagement.

Disengagement is a huge issue now in companies. It goes right to the bottom line. The more engagement you have, the more productivity, the higher morale, the better teamwork, the better results, and the higher retention.

Ruhland

How does the process of working through change impact one’s ability to be authentic? You talked about the fact that it’s a little scary. How does that affect one’s ability to be vulnerable and open?

Sanders

They can’t be authentic unless they’re self-aware. Self-awareness increases confidence, permission to really step into their gifts, their talents, and who they really are. Without that, you’re kind of like a rudderless boat. Anytime somebody’s coming from a more empowered place—self-awareness absolutely offers empowerment—they’re going to be more effective. It will be easier for them to deal with this type of change.

Another aspect of dealing with change, actually any sort of fear or stuck-ness, is being able to take action. When somebody is coming from an empowered, more confident, clear place, which is what self-awareness offers, it’s easier for them to make decisions and take action.

Ruhland

According to studies, team cohesion is a real issue right now. What must happen before cohesion starts to improve?

Sanders

It’s got to start at the top with effective, authentic, vulnerable, honest, consistent leadership. That’s what will create safety and trust—provide that safe environment where the team can be more engaged. I would also say, “Bring the team in and ask them. Give them some ownership. Ask, “What can we do to gel the group more effectively? What would team cohesion look like to you, and how can we accomplish that?”

There are all kinds of activities that can be done.  I’m a Spiral Method facilitator. The main benefit of that type of facilitation is deeper connection and trust. It’s got to start with leadership. Role model what you want. Give them some ownership of what they would like in terms of team cohesion. Secondly, have a very clear overall goal and vision for that team. Make sure that the team is involved in it, understands it, and has buy-in. It’s a united approach. Give them a sense of control. That’s one of the issues with change. People feel out of control. Giving them ownership helps create a sense of belonging, which is what people really need. You can do that by highlighting commonalities and different kinds of activities that help do that. Leadership in bringing the team in to help create and own it.

Ruhland

You said something about a Spiral Method.

Sanders

It’s a method for facilitating any type of meeting or any type of group. It starts with little exercises that help the group get to know each other quickly. It helps create trust. There are a lot of different activities within the Spiral Method facilitation that help build trust and connection and cohesion. For example, as I am a Certified Spiral Method Facilitator, the goal of that method is to create community, connection, and trust in any group or for any purpose of meeting. It can be done virtually as well. It’s pretty amazing. If I did a six-month program, I would go deeper and deeper into more advanced activities. But even within the first hour, people notice a difference in the level of connection and community with their group.

Ruhland

Remote teams especially struggle with cohesion. Is there any hope for a struggling team in a remote environment?

Sanders

Absolutely! Again, it starts with the leadership and their commitment to the cohesion of their team. It’s a little more difficult remotely. But if you have an authentic, honest, vulnerable, consistent role model as a leader, and then bring the team in for their involvement, get their ownership and buy-in, and ask their suggestions as to what they would like to see strategically and tactically. Highlight areas of commonality so that it’s not “us versus them.”  You know, they are a team no matter where they are located. The more self-aware, the better they are able to make decisions and take things from a neutral standpoint. They don’t interpret things incorrectly. They know how to better interact with others. That’s part of the emotional intelligence aspect of it, in which self-awareness is the first step.

If people are disengaged, which many are now, they’re either not feeling part of the team, or they don’t want to be part of the team. But when they’re put in charge or partly in charge of the solution, that can really change things. Have very clear individual goals and overall unified goals under one umbrella that they strive for and believe in. For example, they can brainstorm on descriptions of their ideal teammates, for them to do the best job that they can. What do they need from their different team members? They can exchange those descriptions and have a nice discussion about it. It’s absolution possible. It’s easier to adapt when you know your strengths and weaknesses and have a clear, empowered view of who you are.

Ruhland

And you can help with that as well?

Sanders

Absolutely. That’s my thing.

Ruhland

And a clear, empowered view does what?

Sanders

It provides confidence, a more neutral space to come from, recognition of your strengths, knowing where you get tripped up and watch for that. It implements or seeds a desire to make things work. And that’s part of emotional intelligence as well.

Ruhland

You briefly touched upon getting to know one another or having some interpersonal conversation. How far would you recommend taking that beyond the work at hand?

Sanders

I think it’s required. We think that we can compartmentalize our lives, but we can’t. Anytime there are challenges in personal life, somehow, it’s going to leak into the work-life, and vice versa. If we’re looking for cohesion, which to have cohesion, you’ve got to have connection and community. For example, earlier today I was at what we call a peer advisory group. It’s a small group within a larger networking organization. We share whatever is on our minds, whatever we need support with, whether it’s business or personal. It takes a while to go deeper and deeper, give everybody permission. Maybe the leader needs to role model that. But it’s going to happen. I think it’s required. I don’t mean sharing problems all the time. But having fun together, you’ve got to do that at the very least. Again, the commonality—that’s why it can be helpful to assign a team a budget and say, “determine what charity within these 10 that you want to give this money to.” Oh, they have so much fun deciding where to spend that money. Or “What would you like to do for the holidays? Let’s get some ideas.” We are 360 creatures and with putting our blinders on and always talking about work stuff, it’s only engaging half of us. In many cases, less than half.

Ruhland

The elephant in the room, often, is conflict. As a leader, how should I see that conflict, what can I do about it, and what can I expect if I do something or not?

Sanders

The C-word, conflict, is everywhere. And it’s growing, a lot due to COVID. People are looking out for themselves more. They’re demanding more. They’re on edge more, they’re triggered. Conflict is not always bad. It can flush out weak spots in any aspect of life or business. It can be helpful. The key is handling it effectively. If I were the leader, and I could see a conflict between two team members, I would ask them to work it out and give them some skills to do that. You absolutely can learn how to deal with conflict, how to handle difficult conversations, how to avoid being defensive. Approach it like a business problem. Talk it out with the other person that’s involved. Have an outline to follow. Focus on what the issue is, not on personality. Listen very carefully. Identify where disagreement exists and where agreement does exist. Try to apply one to the other if that’s possible. Prioritize the highest levels of conflict so that those can be addressed immediately. Develop a plan to work on each one. Have some accountability and follow through. Build on your success. People can learn how to do this and not just hope that it goes away. The sooner you address it, the better.

Ruhland

Let’s circle back to vulnerability. Do vulnerability and conflict go together or are they separate issues?

Sanders

Being vulnerable helps alleviate conflict because you’ll be more open. Compassion is another skill to learn. Listen to understand, not to prepare your defense. If there’s a conflict and it’s about somebody’s behavior, something is going on that’s driving that. If you come from a place of understanding, try to ferret out what that is, and show compassion, it can help so much.

Ruhland

Would you say that, in general, people want to perform well, even under difficult circumstances like when there is conflict?

Sanders
One of the human conditions is to do a good job because they want to feel good about themselves. Can that be disrupted? Yes! Can other agendas come into play and knock that off its track? Yes! Bottom-line, overall, people want to do a good job. And they want to be recognized for it.

Ruhland

Those are things that leaders can enhance or inhibit.

Sanders

Companies underestimate the impact of effective or ineffective leadership. A lot of managers get promoted to leadership positions, and they don’t know how to lead. They know how to manage. Those are two different things. Middle management is caught right in the middle. They have to lead and manage. They have the toughest position, really. Leadership is not necessarily born, there’s a lot that can be done to guide, improve, and support leaders to help them be more effective.

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